In a goal-obsessed world, we’ve been conditioned to view doing as a chore and being as a luxury.

Most of us are hard-wired to manage outcomes: a due date, a sales target, a launch, etc.
When the weight of those external goalposts becomes overwhelming, it’s alluring to fantasize about a different way of living. You’ve likely heard—or even said—the phrase: “I want to focus less on outcomes and more on process.”

The Friction Between Hands and Heart

When we focus on outcomes, our minds live in the future. We work in the here and now only so we can eventually arrive there.

This creates an internal friction: our hands are on the task, but our hearts are at the finish line. Until we reach the outcome, we are forced to carry that tension. The more outcomes we manage, the greater the friction. It is, quite simply, exhausting.

Shifting Into the Present Moment

When we shift to a process-orientation, that friction vanishes. The work is no longer a bridge to a distant destination; the work is the destination.

People underestimate this shift, thinking it’s the easy path. In reality, it requires far more engagement. But this is also where the magic happens. When you commit 100% of your presence, the distinction between doing and being begins to fade:

• Am I writing, or am I a writer?
• Am I parenting, or am I a parent?
• Am I coaching, or am I a coach?
• Am I leading, or am I a leader?

Action is proof. If you are doing, you are. There is a profound peace in that completeness, but it requires a profound act of commitment.

The Grit of Now

If we’re being honest, process-orientation is discipline in its purest form. It’s the decision to show up and exert effort—not because you’re being chased by a deadline, but because you’ve decided the work is worthy of your full presence.

The work becomes an essential part of your being (both the noun and the verb). This devotion to the now requires more grit than any final sprint ever could.

There is a fundamental honesty in this: to be process-focused is to realize that the quality of your life adds to the sum of your moments of attention. In this space, you become one with effort. And, almost like magic, the results begin to take care of themselves. 

Questions for Reflection

Identify one key piece of your life right now. Perhaps it’s being a parent, painting, leading a team, doing yoga, or building a business.

• How do you embody this part of yourself?
• Do you experience this part of you through a series of scheduled moments?
• Or, does this part of you extend past the boundaries of your schedule and into the tao (the how) of your daily life?
• Which orientation (process or outcome) feels more true, right, or integral to you? Why?